I have a new intention for 2019 that I want to tell you about. And a bit of a confession.
I have recently become aware that I haven’t always been showing up truthfully and authentically. Lately, I have been watching myself censoring my food journal and my meal photos when texting with my buddies or sharing publicly on social media. And something about that hasn’t felt right.
But the thing is, I haven’t been out of integrity at all with myself. In fact, I have never felt more clarity or peace around my food and my weight than I do right now. I’ve just felt unable to be honest with other people about the modifications I’ve made to my eating since my boot camp and weight loss days.
I shared this with one of my dear friends who has been on a similar path as me, and she asked me the wise and powerful question: “What would happen if you showed up fully and truthfully? How would it feel to do that?”
Wow, that gave me a lot to think about. At first I felt irritated and defensive at being asked that question, which I recognized right away as a red flag that there was something there to unpack.
I’ve spent a lot of energy trying to protect other people. I worry a lot about the potential negative impact that my site and my content could have on somebody in recovery who is more highly susceptible to sugar and flour than I am and really shouldn’t be using recipes. I censor myself because I am afraid of triggering others. It had never occurred to me it might actually benefit other people, and myself, to be fully honest. What a radical idea.
In thinking about that over the past few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not responsible for other people. Other people have the responsibility of taking care of themselves and knowing what serves them and what doesn’t.
So, what would happen if I showed up fully and truthfully?
I have no idea, but I’ve decided to do it anyway.
I have a new intention to fully show up and claim and speak my truths. Not what I think other people need to hear, but what is actually true for me. I feel a deep sense of relief just writing out those words.
I’ve created a private facebook group called Seeking Our Truths for those who want to engage in further dialogue and support around exploring what is true for you and what serves you, whether that includes bright lines, mindful eating, intuitive eating, or any other kind of eating. I intend it to be a loving space for people to share the twists and turns in their journeys and run their experiments without any judgement.
I want to embody the idea that when we strive to be our truest, most authentic self in this world, we naturally attract the people that will support and nourish us the most.
So as we move into 2019, I invite you to think about where in your life you might be holding yourself back, or censoring yourself. What would it feel like to show up authentically? What might happen? What potential for creativity and leadership would emerge?
Wishing you a messy and beautiful journey in 2019,